I recently had a sit down with myself.
To say that I was nervous about the conversation and which way it would go is an understatement.
I've always been my own worst enemy. It's honestly intriguing. When it comes to being belittled by others, I tend to be unbothered by it. Sometimes I agree with them. But the voice inside my head is much more harsh and much less forgiving than any other human. He knows how to get right under my skin and exactly which pressure points to assault, causing a full on anxiety induced meltdown.
He's been a lot more vocal lately, so today I had a talk with him.
I reminded him that I am in control. I made it clear that I wouldn't allow the self sabotage to continue.
In a way I feel bad for him, because I know where his negativity is rooted - in his uncertainty. He just wants to feel safe and secure.
But he has gotta learn to give himself a break. He has got to learn to trust the process. When I present his accomplishments in an attempt to remind him how powerful and professional he really is, he just says he can do more.
Why not celebrate your wins? No matter how big or small they might be, when we achieve a goal, we DESERVE to be proud of ourselves. We deserve to revel in that good feeling, because that's what helps you achieve that next goal.
No more counter-productive conversations with myself. I was born to do this and he knows that. But from now on, his methods will be different. Just another way that I'm learning to love myself.